A late-night flurry of WeChat messages from my mom—photos of jackets and blouses—reminded me of something much deeper than clothing. In this episode, I reflect on how love often shows up in the quietest gestures, and how easily we can take our closest relationships for granted.
📝 Show Notes
In this heartfelt episode, I share a personal story about a nighttime exchange with my mom in China—a moment that stirred reflection, emotion, and unexpected gratitude. What started as a conversation about clothes turned into a deeply felt revelation about the way love is expressed across time, distance, and generations.
In this episode, I explore:
The quiet ways our loved ones show care
How guilt and distance shape parent-child relationships
The shift from expectation to appreciation
A reminder to not take our closest relationships for granted
Reflection prompts:
Who in your life have you been unintentionally taking for granted?
What’s one small way you can express appreciation to someone close to you today?
💬 Favorite Quote from the Episode
“We often take our most sacred relationships for granted.”
“I realized how often I’ve taken her love—and her—for granted. How I’ve come to expect these gifts instead of appreciating the care and emotion behind them. As if they were something she owed me.
But they’re not owed. They’re offered. Freely. Lovingly.
“Do you know where in the world coffee is grown?” our tour guide, Julio, asked as the ten of us huddled around him, the scent of roasted beans lingering in the air.
It was our first time visiting a coffee farm in Costa Rica. Julio led us toward a world map on the wall.
“Central America,” someone offered. “Africa,” another added. “Asia,” someone else chimed in.
“You’re all correct,” Julio smiled. “But does anyone know what the growing region is called?”
We glanced around and shook our heads.
“Coffee is grown inside the coffee belt,” he explained, pointing toward the map.
The coffee belt, we learned, is a geographic zone between the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn—spanning roughly 25 degrees north and 30 degrees south of the equator—where conditions are just right for coffee to thrive. Rich volcanic soil, warm temperatures, high altitudes, and steady rainfall make it the ideal environment.
As an occasional coffee drinker, I was fascinated. I had never considered that crops like coffee could only grow in specific regions.
Since then, we’ve visited a cacao farm and a tea plantation. The same principle applies: cacao grows in the cacao belt, and tea flourishes in just a handful of countries with the right mix of climate, soil, and rainfall.
We learned this lesson firsthand when we tried gardening at home. The leaves on my dahlia flowers looked especially wilty, and the blooms drooped within two days of planting.
Even though I had checked all the boxes—plenty of water, full sun—the dahlias didn’t perk up until I replaced the regular soil with fast-draining soil, which they actually needed.
In nature, a plant—whether a coffee bean, a tea leaf, or a flower—cannot thrive unless it’s in an environment that supports its growth. It needs the right mix of climate, soil, and sun exposure to reach its full potential.
The more I learned about what plants need to thrive, the more I saw the parallel: we, too, need the right environment to grow—especially at work.
Finding Your ‘Thriving’ Place at Work
Having worked at or consulted for half a dozen companies, I’ve seen firsthand how each organization has its own unique environment—shaped by its culture, leadership style, mission, values, and people.
Each workplace has its own set of “growing conditions.” And those conditions, fortunately or unfortunately, aren’t ideal for everyone.
Take Amazon and Starbucks, for example. At Amazon, efficiency is prized over personal connection. At Starbucks, “human connection” is a core part of the mission. The culture encourages casual coffee chats between colleagues as a way to foster relationships.
My partner thrives in Amazon’s environment. For me, Starbucks provides a better space where I do my best work.
If your workplace feels frustrating or draining, you might just be a coffee bean trying to grow outside the coffee belt—not because you’re not capable, but because the conditions aren’t right for you.
To find the kind of workplace where you’ll thrive, you first have to understand what kind of “plant” you are. Are you a coffee bean or a tea plant? Do you prefer full sun or shade? What kind of environment brings out your best?
I promise you: there’s a company out there with the perfect soil, climate, and care for you. And if you can’t find that place? Don’t settle. Create it for yourself.
Planting Conditions for an Idea to Thrive
I once worked for a visionary CEO who advised Silicon Valley executives on how to build user-centric organizations—places where technologies are intuitively designed because everyone from top to bottom deeply understands the end user.
He developed a formula I still think about today: Business Value by Design = People × Process × Mindset × Environment
Most organizations invest in people and process. Some nurture the right mindset. But many overlook one of the most important elements: environment.
And yet, environment is often the make-or-break factor that determines whether an idea survives—or withers on the vine.
Just like a cacao seed won’t sprout outside the cacao belt, an idea won’t thrive in a company that isn’t ready for it. If the soil isn’t fertile, if the climate is too harsh, if there isn’t space for it to breathe and evolve—it doesn’t matter how visionary the idea is.
I’ve seen brilliant ideas fall flat because the culture wasn’t open to experimentation. I’ve also seen small ideas spark big transformation, simply because the conditions encouraged collaboration, risk-taking, and iteration.
So before you judge an idea as “good” or “bad,” ask instead:
Is the environment ready for this idea to grow?
Are the conditions—leadership buy-in, team readiness, psychological safety, timing—there?
And if not, what can be done to improve the soil.
Because sometimes, it’s not the seed that’s lacking. It’s the soil.
Where are you meant to grow?
Whether it’s a coffee bean, a flower, a person, or an idea—everything needs the right environment to truly thrive.
Growth isn’t just about effort or potential; it’s about fit. You could be doing everything “right,” but if the conditions around you aren’t aligned, you’ll always feel like you’re struggling to bloom.
So ask yourself: What’s your ideal growing environment?
What kind of soil, climate, and care help you flourish? And what about the ideas you carry—are they planted in the right place to take root?
The more we understand what helps us—and our ideas—grow, the better equipped we are to seek out or create environments where thriving becomes not the exception, but the norm.
Inviting You to Reflect on:
What kind of “plant” are you? What conditions help you thrive?
Are you currently in your coffee belt—or trying to grow outside of it?
What kind of environment do your ideas need to take root?
It was a rainy Saturday morning. Since moving to my new home six months ago, I hadn’t really gotten involved in the community—until yesterday, when I volunteered at the local art museum for the first time.
My role was simple: help check in guests as they arrived for a spring event.
As an introvert who would usually rather look at her phone than engage in small talk with strangers, this meant stepping outside of my comfort zone. For a full hour, I greeted people, exchanged pleasantries, and made conversation with guests I had never met before.
What I never would have guessed was how I’d feel leaving the museum after my shift—I walked out feeling like I had just won the lottery.
To my surprise, I felt an immense sense of joy and aliveness from doing something I had long assumed was energy-draining rather than life-giving: talking to strangers.
Simple exchanges like “I love the color of your coat,” “What brings you in today?” or “How’s your morning so far?” opened the door to something deeper.
For me, it was the feeling of being connected to another human being, and knowing I’d brightened someone’s day—even if just for a moment—that made it all feel so special.
It was witnessing a shiftin body language—from closed and guarded to open and relaxed.
It was watching someone’s mood transform—from distant to animated and full of life.
It was catching the sparkle in their eyes and seeing a smile spread across their face.
It was hearing them initiate a follow-up conversation, giving me a glimpse into their world:
“I made sure I was first in line today because I have my eyes on this watercolor card with a fox on it…”
It was discovering their essence radiating from the inside out.
It was witnessing change in others—and feeling an unexpected joyripple within me—through the simple act of striking up a conversation and sharing a laugh together.
That hour reminded me of something I had forgotten: the quiet, healing power of human connection. These small moments are like electric pulses that reactivate our hearts, reminding us of our innate capacity for love, for empathy, and for joy.
We are all connected—interwoven in ways we may have forgotten, with powers we too often neglect. The power to brighten someone else’s day. The power to show up with kindness. The power to connect.
In a world that feels increasingly digitized, mechanized, and divided, we need connection now more than ever—more than we may even realize.
For me, this means continuing to show up in my community. Saying yes to new experiences. And rediscovering the joy of talking to strangers.
It doesn’t have to be a big gesture either. It could be as small as saying something kind to the cashier at the grocery store or asking “How’s your morning been?” when we call customer service next.
A little can go a long way.
And that power—that light—is already within us.
Inviting You to Reflect on:
When was the last time you had a meaningful interaction with a stranger? How did it make you feel?
In what simple ways can you bring more warmth and connection into your everyday encounters?
What would it look like to be a source of light in someone else’s day today?
A few weeks ago, I was FaceTiming with my grandma and telling her about some of the acupuncture points I’ve been learning recently.
I shared them with her because she had been trained in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) as a young girl by her father—my great-grandfather. In fact, he was a renowned TCM practitioner with his own clinic before the Cultural Revolution broke out in the early 1960s.
What my grandma said next completely shifted my knowledge and understanding of my heritage.
“我的姥爷也是医生。我们家就是职业医生。” “My grandfather was also a TCM doctor. In fact, the trade of our family has always been medicine.”
I was shocked. I had always known about my great-grandfather, but I didn’t realize I came from a lineage of traditional Chinese medicine doctors.
That knowledge felt like a full-circle moment. Over the past few years, I’ve been diving deeper into holistic health and TCM—driven by nothing more than personal curiosity. And now, I was learning that this path has been within my bloodline all along, not to mention a meaningful step in a much longer journey: one of reclaiming and even celebrating my heritage as a Chinese American.
As with many immigrants, there’s often a strong desire to assimilate—to fit in and feel like you belong in your new home. When I immigrated to the U.S. at 12, I vividly remember judging, rejecting, and even trying to forget my heritage.
I didn’t want to be “too Asian.” I avoided hanging out in large groups of Asians. I prided myself on having mostly non-Asian friends, as if that somehow proved I had broken the stereotype that “all the Asians hang out together.”
When my friends and I went out to eat, I chose anywhere but a Chinese restaurant. I even tried to forget memories from my childhood, telling myself I had “moved on.”
Looking back now, I can see how extreme—and painful—that disconnection was.
Like tannins in wine, I too softened with age. As much as I had tried to forget my past, a quiet yearning began to grow within me—a desire to return to my roots.
It started with cravings for Chinese food. That “I’m home” feeling when walking through the aisles of an Asian grocery store, spotting foods like dried squid, seaweed, and fermented tofu—items that might seem foreign or even repulsive to others but feel so familiar and comforting to me.
Because I haven’t spoken, read, or written Chinese on a daily basis for two decades, my language skills have become rusty. But two years ago, I felt a deep desire to reconnect. I set a goal to study Chinese for at least an hour each week.
Now, as I explore TCM more deeply, it’s been especially rewarding to be able to read ancient texts in Chinese. So much meaning gets lost in translation, and being able to understand the original language gives me direct access to the richness and nuance of the practice.
I’ve also begun to recall so many wellness habits and philosophies my grandparents passed down when I was young—wisdom I had taken for granted at the time. Things like:
A central philosophy: Health is wealth. “If you don’t have health, you don’t have anything,” my grandma still reminds me.
A technique from my grandpa: massage a pressure point on the back of your neck when you feel sickness coming on.
A daily wellness drink: my grandma prepares a blend of over 10 types of grains and TCM herbs to nourish the body each morning.
A simple practice: sit on the balcony or go outside to soak in sunlight (晒晒太阳), especially important as we age.
As a little girl, this was just what my family did. But now, I see how much these practices have influenced me—and how deeply they’ve shaped my growing passion for Traditional Chinese Medicine and natural healing.
So hearing that I come from generations of TCM doctors felt like a full-circle moment—marking the end of one chapter (where past wounds were healed) and the beginning of another (where I fully love, celebrate, and reclaim what makes me me).
It’s been inside me all along: My culture. The wellness practices of my childhood. My lineage.
I’m not alone. In fact, I have generations of doctors walking with me, supporting me, and cheering me on as I continue this journey in TCM, health, and holistic healing.
Hi there,
Thank you for reading. I sincerely hope the reflection enabled you to look at your culture and heritage through a new lens—a recognition of what a gift it may actually be.
Best,
Elinor
Inviting You to Reflect on:
What about your culture, roots, or heritage do you want to reclaim? What are some things already within you that you may have forgotten?
Are there traditions, stories, or wisdom passed down through your family that you once overlooked but now feel called to explore?
“Your vitamin D is extremely low,” Dr. K said, peering at my bloodwork. “I recommend a high-dose prescription. It’s taken once a week.”
He paused before continuing, “Another thing that really concerns me is your cholesterol level. It looks hereditary, but I’d still recommend considering a statin—a cholesterol-lowering drug.”
I sat there taking it all in… and then a memory surfaced.
“I remember reading something about a relationship between vitamin D and cholesterol,” I said. “Is that a thing?”
Dr. K looked thoughtful. “Hmm… that’s not something I’ve come across in the literature I’ve read. I can look into it and get back to you.”
You see, I’m not against medication. But if there’s a natural approach—like spending more time in the sun, adjusting my diet, or exercise more—I’ll explore that first.
And I did remember seeing something about vitamin D and cholesterol being linked. Curious, I typed into Google: “Relationship between vitamin D and cholesterol.”
As someone who geeks out on health and wellness, I dove in—and what I discovered blew my mind.
🧬 Cholesterol is a Precursor to Vitamin D
Wait… what?
Turns out, we need cholesterol in our skin cells to make vitamin D from sunlight. Specifically, a molecule called 7-dehydrocholesterol (a form of cholesterol) converts into vitamin D3 when exposed to UVB rays.
This blew me away:
The chemical formula for cholesterol is C27H46O. The chemical formula for vitamin D3 is C27H44O. The only difference? Two hydrogen atoms. Those two hydrogen atoms are released when our skin is exposed to ultraviolet light.
So yes—the link is real. And closer than I ever imagined.
🌟 Cholesterol Isn’t the Villain We’ve Been Told It Is
Cholesterol has been demonized in our culture. We seek out “low-cholesterol” or cholesterol lowering foods. We’re taught cholesterol clogs arteries and causes heart attacks. But that’s just one piece of a larger story.
Cholesterol plays a critical role in the body. Blood cholesterol not only helps create vitamin D, it also converts into hormones, supports brain function, helps form blood cells, and protects our nerves.
And did you know your cholesterol level can be too low? In fact, low cholesterol is associated with mortality from stroke, heart disease, and cancer. Source: National Institute of Health
So no—it’s not all bad. Like many things in life, it’s about balance, not elimination.
☀️ Sunlight: Our Primary Source of Vitamin D
Vitamin D is crucial for healthy bones, muscles, immunity—and may help prevent diseases like diabetes, cancer, and autoimmune disorders. Source: MDPI
But here’s the catch: Diet alone usually isn’t enough to meet our vitamin D needs. The primary source? Sunlight.
Only one specific type of ultraviolet ray—UVB—can trigger vitamin D synthesis in the body. It photolyzes 7-dehydrocholesterol in the skin, starting the transformation into usable vitamin D3.
But here’s what blew my mind even more: You can be outside and still not get any UVB.
So even if you think you’re getting sun, your body might not be making any vitamin D.
⚖️ Finding the Right Balance
UVB rays are a double-edged sword. Too little exposure can lead to deficiency. Too much can increase the risk of skin cancer. Same source—radically different outcomes depending on dosage.
How much is “just right”? That depends on your skin tone, location, and time of year. (This NIH paper helped, but I’m still digging into this.)
Bottom line: we need moderate, intentional sun exposure to support our vitamin D levels—and, by extension, our overall health.
📉 Could More Vitamin D Lower Cholesterol?
I also found studies exploring whether raising vitamin D levels might help lower LDL (the so-called “bad” cholesterol). The evidence is still mixed, but some research shows a possible correlation between higher vitamin D and lower LDL levels. Source: Nature
More research is needed, but it’s a promising area.
📬 A Follow-Up from Dr. K
Two days later, Dr. K messaged me.
“I did some digging and found that there is a relationship between vitamin D and cholesterol production. UVB is the light that converts 7-dehydrocholestrol to Vitamin D3 in the body…”
💡 So What?
I feel like I just earned a mini-PhD in vitamin D and cholesterol—ha.
But seriously, what struck me most wasn’t the science itself. It was how little I actually knew about basic processes in my own body—despite being “well-educated” by traditional standards.
I had unknowingly formed beliefs based on headlines, ads, and half-truths. That cholesterol is all bad. That the sun rays cause skin cancer. None of it was completely true—or completely false.
Here’s what I learned instead:
Cholesterol is a precursor to vitamin D
Their chemical formulas are nearlyidentical
Cholesterol plays essential roles in the body
Sunlight, not diet, is our main source of vitamin D
We may not be producing vitamin D even when “in the sun”
The answer lies in balance, not avoidance
🔍 The Bigger Lesson
The truth is often more nuanced than we’re led to believe.
When it comes to our health—and our lives—we owe it to ourselves to ask better questions, challenge surface-level assumptions, and take radical responsibility for our own well-being.
Inviting you to reflect on: What’s one “truth” you’ve accepted without questioning—about your health, body, or life—that might be worth a second look?
As the VP of Membership at my company’s Toastmasters club, I hold onboarding calls with prospective members to share more about the club and learn why they’re interested in joining.
“I’m good at communicating one-on-one, but…”
After speaking with 50+ prospective members, I started noticing a pattern—it’s what comes after the but.
“But not in a larger forum.”
“But I get nervous speaking up in front of an audience of 10+ people.”
“But when I’m communicating with a VP, I fumble. I don’t make sense, and I start to ramble.”
“But I black out when I present in front of a room full of people.”
Our members want to communicate confidently, concisely, and impactfully—in front of anyone, in any setting. That makes sense. After all, Toastmasters is a platform designed to improve public speaking skills.
What surprises me most, though, is who is sharing these goals. Frankly, 80% of the people who say this already seem like strong communicators—structuring their thoughts well, using minimal filler words, and delivering messages concisely.
Is It Really About Communication Skills?
That got me thinking: What’s the difference between communicating one-on-one versus in front of a larger audience or senior leaders? After all, the raw mechanics of communication are the same in both settings.
And what if… it’s not communication skills our members need, but something deeper?
I thought back to my first project review with our VP, Jeff.
I knew my material inside and out. But when Jeff asked me a simple question, I completely blanked. My heart pounded, my breath became shallow, and everything I knew vanished.
The nerves got me.
Afterward, I felt terrible. I related to what Jen, a prospective member, told me who shared a similar experience:
“My VP probably thinks I’m dumb. That I don’t know what I’m doing. They probably won’t want me in the meeting anymore.”
I felt some of that, too.
But here’s the truth: No one thinks that way except us.
Most people—whether it’s your VP, CEO, or peer—want to see yousucceed.
Which makes me wonder: Is mastering public speaking less about technical skills and more about overcoming the illusions we create in our own minds?
Which makes me wonder:
Is mastering public speaking less about technical skills and more about overcoming the illusions we create in our own minds?
The Real Barriers to Communicating with Confidence
It’s not just about how we speak – it’s about what we believe.
…the stories we tell ourselves.
…The pressure to prove ourselves – to sound smart, to earn our seat at the table. (And on the flip side, the fear of not sounding or looking smart)
…The doubt and judgement we place on ourselves, replaying the could haves and should haves after the fact.
Simply put, we paralyzeOURSELVES with our own fears, doubts, goals, and criticisms.
The real key to public speaking? Mastering ourselves.
So, what if the secret isn’t just in refining our communication skills, but in mastering ourselves–removing self-doubt, releasing unwarranted pressure, and giving ourselves grace?
(Because again, most people want to see you succeed.)
To stop judging ourselves so harshly
To let go of the need to have all the answers
To believe we deserve to be in the room
To give ourselves permission to communicate with confidence
To offer ourselves grace if we stumble
Most of all, to trust and give ourselves permission to be our authentic selves–without fear or judgment
What if we were to release all of our fears and replace them with love and self-acceptance?
During my MBA program, I was part of the Improv Club, where we’d meet every week to play improv games.
One of the core principles of improv is “Yes, And.” It’s a simple but powerful rule: accept what another improviser has stated (“yes”) and then build upon it (“and”). It encourages openness, creativity, and the willingness to explore beyond the obvious.
This principle came to mind recently when I caught up with a friend who mentioned that my former MBA classmate and housemate, Sammi, had gained influencer status—with over 260K subscribers on Instagram.
What? How? When?
I had so many questions.
When I looked into it, I learned that since 2022, Sammi has been posting daily short videos demystifying the latest business ‘lore.’ I knew she worked at Amazon after we graduated from business school in 2020.
Is she still working full-time? Amazon can be a pretty intense place…
Having known Sammi, I wasn’t surprised by her drive. She’s a go-getter. But still, I was impressed.
Getting to learn more about her success and specifically how she’s been able to do both inspired me to reexamine my own life and my belief systems around the prerequisite to success.
The Trap of “Either-Or” Thinking
I realized that I’ve often operated with an “Either-Or” mindset:
Either I work a corporate job or I start my own business.
Either I pursue a successful career or I prioritize family.
Either I take a creative risk or I play it safe.
This way of thinking isn’t unique to me. We see it everywhere:
Either finish your homework now, or you can’t go out with your friends later.
Either go on vacation, or save for a house.
It’s easy to see why “Either-Or” thinking is our default. It simplifies decision-making. It’s clear-cut. You pick one, and you move on. But what if that’s an illusion?
The Power of “Yes, And” Thinking
Sammi didn’t choose between having a job or building an audience—she did both. She embraced the “Yes, And” mindset.
Her journey made me ask myself: Where in my life have I been limiting myself with false choices?
What if instead of assuming we have to choose between two paths, we ask:
How can I have a stable job and explore my entrepreneurial ambitions?
How can I be career-driven and cultivate deep personal relationships?
How can I take creative risks and maintain security?
The boundaries of “Yes, And” may feel incredibly ambiguous, and that can be uncomfortable. But what possibilities are we shutting out when we limit ourselves to just two options?
What If We Embrace The Possibilities?
Psychologists call this the Either-Or Fallacy (False Dilemma)—when we assume there are only two choices and fail to recognize a third (or fourth, or fifth) alternative.
But what if we challenged that way of thinking?
What if, rather than limiting ourselves, we started saying “Yes, And” to life?
A ray of sunshine in the midst of a week-long of dreary gray skies.
The bold, loud opening of Beethoven’s fifth symphony paired with soft and tender melodies.
Light against darkness.
The absence of sound when you wander deeper into the forest.
The warmth and softness of your own bed after two nights of camping.
Tasting the enhanced sweetness of a watermelon after you put a pinch of salt on it.
Experiencing the lightness of a healthy body after recovering from the flu for a week.
Feeling gratitude for a kind and understanding boss when you’ve had a bad one.
Experiencing the joys of new growth after devastating losses.
…
Each of these moments reminds us of a fundamental truth: contrast adds depth, meaning, and richness to our lives.
Contrast shapes the peaks and valleys of our lives, filling our hearts with abundance, joy, and happiness precisely because we’ve also tasted loss, disappointment, and sadness.
As much as we try to avoid the lows, without having experienced the lows (or what you did not want), we wouldn’t appreciate the joys of the highs (or what you do want).
Everyday Lessons in Contrast
This truth about contrast often comes to light in everyday conversations.
Just last week, my colleague shared, “If it weren’t for the contrast, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate how much free time I used to have,” referring to the limited free time she now has as a mom to a 1-year-old daughter.
Reflecting on my own life, I’ve found countless moments where contrast has deepened my appreciation, such as:
My now normal work hours when I used to work until 11pm every night
The long consulting days for the skills I acquired and now use at work
The sun-filled place I now live, compared to my old small and dark apartment
An employee-focused culture of my current employer
…
The list goes on.
Contrast, as uncomfortable as it may be at times, is a necessary part of life. It enables us to add new dimensionality to our everyday events and perhaps, identify welcoming changes, see the old in new lights and appreciate aspects of past events that we’ve taken for granted.
Understanding the power of contrast, I have now adopted a new attitude towards the “highs” and “lows” I’ll have in life.
How I’ve Reframed Highs and Lows
Highs: I’ve come to see highs (and lows) as a necessary part of life. It will not last forever so enjoy it while it lasts!
Lows: Rather than dredging it, avoiding it, or pretending it doesn’t exist or will never come, I now embrace it. Why? Embracing the lows allows me to see them as stepping stones to deeper joy, sharpening my gratitude when the highs return.
Reflecting On Your Own Contrast
Understanding the role of contrast in your own life can be transformative. Here are a few questions to reflect on:
What are the highs and lows in your life to date? How do the lows or the highs enable you to experience the fullness of the other?
How will you approach the peaks and valleys in your future?
By embracing contrast, you might just discover a richer, more meaningful way to navigate life’s peaks and valleys.
What about you?
What are the highs and lows in your life to date? How do the lows or the highs enable you to experience the fullness of the other?
How will you approach the peaks and valleys in your future?
At 10 a.m., a last-minute “Team Communication” invite from our SVP popped up on our calendars—just three hours before the meeting.
No context. Just a Microsoft Teams link.
At 1 p.m., 300+ faces appeared on the call, engaging in lighthearted small talk. But really, we were all bracing ourselves for what was to come.
It’s fair to say that most of us, myself included, were preoccupied with one question: What’s going to happen to me?
Understandably, many fear being laid off—this job allows us to provide for our families, pay mortgages, and afford everyday essentials. The thought of giving up our current reality is hard because it feels safe, known, secure.
On the contrary, the unknown—what comes next—feels terrifying.
…
“Katie has decided to leave the organization,” our EVP, Sara, announced. Just last week, she had shared that she, too, was leaving the company.
They both spoke candidly about their decisions, while reiterating their enthusiasm for the company’s new focus under our new CEO.
What struck me most wasn’t their departure—it was their attitude toward change.
“Change excites me,” Katie said, acknowledging the bittersweet moment.
“Growth requires change,” Sara emphasized, bookending the conversation with this reminder.
Neither of them flinched in the face of uncertainty. Instead, they welcomed it. There was no hint of fear, no sense of hesitation—only confidence, poise, and authenticity.
It was an aha moment for me.
They didn’t deny that change is uncomfortable or that the unknown can be daunting. But they recognized that within discomfort lies an opportunity—for growth, for reinvention, for something greater than what we can currently see.
…
I’ve replayed the call in my head several times, and I realize now: I need to adopt a new mindset toward change—one that shifts from fear to a warm embrace.
Befriend the unknown, because growth requires change.
What about you?
What’s your current attitude toward change? What new possibilities might unfold if you befriended the unknown instead of fearing it?
“And there will be job eliminations…” read a company-wide email from our CEO last Friday.
I was immediately triggered. The memory of layoffs I experienced just two years ago came rushing back, the feelings still fresh in my mind. Experience as the teacher whispered, “You have to look out for yourself.” So, I started doom-scrolling on LinkedIn to see what jobs were available.
But then I paused.
I realized that while experience can teach valuable lessons—like warning a child not to touch a hot stove—it can also be harmful. Sometimes, it keeps us trapped in anticipation of pain, even when the present moment doesn’t warrant it.
Moments like these rob us of the ability to fully experience the present for what it is—good, bad, or neutral. They blur the line between reality and our imagination.
A recent conversation with a coworker illustrated this perfectly.
After our VP’s “Ask-Me-Anything” meeting, I caught up with a coworker from my team. He was convinced we were doomed. “It’s obvious our org will be a lot smaller,” he said.
I blinked in surprise. I had walked out of the same meeting feeling cautiously optimistic. Our VP had said, “Each of you are doing the right work for the organization.”
Both of us had attended the same meeting. Yet our takeaways were polar opposites.
This stark difference in perception reminded me how much our individual interpretations can be shaped by emotions and past experiences. It also underscored a truth I often need to revisit: When uncertainty strikes, our subjective judgment is not always reliable. That’s why it’s so important to anchor ourselves to objective facts.
Here’s what I know for certain:
There will be layoffs in the coming weeks.
Layoffs will impact corporate employees.
Teams that “coordinate work” or “do the same work” will be affected.
That’s it. No more, no less. Everything else is conjecture.
This episode brought to mind a fundamental discipline of Stoicism (a school of philosophy that originated in Ancient Greece and Rome), which has guided many through uncertainty and adversity:
Discipline of Perception: See things for what they are and do our best to remain objective in any circumstances
Our ability to perceive situations clearly and with discipline often determines the trajectory of our success and happiness. As the Stoic philosopher Ryan Holiday puts it:
“You will come across obstacles in life—fair and unfair. And you will discover, time and time again, that what matters most is not what these obstacles are, but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure. This reaction determines how successful we will be in overcoming—or possibly thriving because of—these obstacles.”
As for me, the story of these layoffs will unfold in the coming weeks.
But in the meantime, I declare:
I will choose to focus on the facts. No more, no less.
I will choose to control what I can—my thoughts, actions, and reactions.
I will choose to see opportunity in every situation.
Elevate Everyday 