I woke up to seven unread WeChat messages—all from my mom, who lives halfway across the world in China.
Opening the app, I saw pictures of a jacket and two blouses.
“I think this shirt will look good with a pair of jeans,” one of her messages read.
It was 11:15 p.m. in China. Having grown up with her, I know how much she needs her sleep. My grandma even lovingly called her “睡觉包” (“sleepyhead”). She normally goes to bed by 9:30 p.m., so I could only imagine how tired she must’ve been.
“I see them. You should go to bed. Let’s chat live tonight. I like the jacket and the first blouse. Do they have any other colors for the jacket? Can you help me look at some jeans?” I wrote back.
Five minutes later—Ding… Ding… Ding… Ding. My phone rang again.
She sent photos of a long skirt.
“What about this one?” she asked.
“Okay, sure.” I replied.
Ding. A photo of the same jacket in another color.
Then another.
“Looks good,” I responded. “You should go to sleep.”
A minute later—
“What kind of collar do you want?” she asked via WeChat.
“Go to sleep,” I replied again.
You see, my grandma and sister are coming to visit this summer. The last time they visited, they brought me half a suitcase full of clothes that my mom had picked out for me.
My mom has always carried a bit of guilt for not being able to take care of or spend money on me since I moved to the U.S. to live with my father when I was twelve years old. My sister, on the other hand, stayed in China with my mom and received all the love, care, and attention.
Over the past twenty years, I’ve only seen my mom in person half a dozen times. So she’s found other ways to show her love—from afar. One of them is buying me clothes.
I’ve known this about her. So in some ways, I wasn’t surprised by the stream of photos. In fact, I almost expected my sister and grandma to arrive this summer with another suitcase filled with things my mom picked out.
Ding. My mom sent another blouse—this time in green.
“Go to sleep, mom,” I wrote again, pleading for the fourth time.
And that’s when it hit me. I felt a lump in my throat and found myself tearing up.
Maybe it’s part of growing older. Maybe it’s the idea of becoming a parent myself. Maybe I’ve simply become more attuned to love’s quieter expressions.
In that moment, I felt completely connected to my mom—emotionally, spiritually—even from across the world. I could almost see her sitting on the edge of her bed, hunched over in the dark, with the light from her phone glowing softly on her face as she scrolled through photos, searching for the perfect item to match my taste and style.
In that quiet night, I saw and felt the deep, unconditional love of a mother.
And then I felt a wave of embarrassment.
I realized how often I’ve taken her love—and her—for granted. How I’ve come to expect these gifts instead of appreciating the care and emotion behind them. As if they were something she owed me.
But they’re not owed. They’re offered. Freely. Lovingly.
And they deserve gratitude.
More appreciation. Less expectation.
We often take our most sacred relationships for granted.
They’re the people closest to us—our parents, siblings, partners, grandparents. Yet these are often the ones we fail to honor in the way they deserve.
There’s usually more expectation than appreciation.
Less patience. Less kindness.
And sometimes, even less forgiveness than we’d offer a stranger on the street.
This was a reminder for me to:
- Practice more appreciation, rather than expectation
- Say more thank yous
- Give our loved ones the attention they deserve
- Be more patient and forgiving
- And, to never take our most sacred relationships for granted—but instead, to honor each one with the love and care they so deeply deserve
Inviting You to Reflect On:
- Who in your life have you been taking for granted?
- How can you express appreciation to someone close to you today?











